Mission vs. Admission: Counting the Cost Before Going All In
Sometimes life has a way of shaking you awake when you’re knee-deep in a mission, reminding you that the finish line isn’t the only thing that matters. Writing my first book was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done—emotionally, mentally, and even physically.
As someone who helps executives see the big picture for a living, I thought I knew what it meant to count the cost. I planned every detail: the hours I’d need, the sacrifices it would demand, and the toll it might take on my family. I thought I had it all mapped out.
And then my daughter, Delaney, dropped a bombshell: she was leaving the nest.
When the Cost Changes
We had planned for this moment, my wife and I. We knew the day would come when she’d spread her wings. We even looked forward to it in a way—proud, eager, excited to see her chase her own dreams. But when the moment finally arrived, it hit me like a freight train.
Suddenly, everything felt heavier. The late nights I’d spent hunched over my laptop, the dinners I missed, the weekends I stole away to write—it all felt like it carried a new weight. She was about to leave, and I’d spent the last year pouring myself into this project instead of soaking up every last moment with her under our roof.
It’s the kind of realization that punches you in the gut and leaves you wondering: Was it worth it?
The Dilemma: Stick or Shift?
This was the moment of truth. Do I stay the course, head down, relentless in my pursuit of finishing what I started? Or do I pull back, recalibrate, and make space for this unexpected shift?
Here’s the brutal reality: chasing big goals costs something. And sometimes, that price tag is higher than you ever expected.
I could’ve justified sticking to the plan. I mean, I was so close to the finish line. But deep down, I knew something had to give. My mission wasn’t just about getting this book done—it was about doing it in a way I could be proud of, a way that wouldn’t leave me looking back with regret.
Relentless Sacrifice
Here’s the thing: Being relentless isn’t just about never quitting. It’s about staying obedient to your mission while being willing to sacrifice what’s necessary along the way—even when it’s not what you planned for.
Sometimes, that sacrifice is your comfort. Other times, it’s your ego. And occasionally, it’s the shiny, polished version of the goal you had in your head.
For me, it meant leaning into this unexpected moment with Delaney. It meant making room for long talks, impromptu family dinners, and soaking in the little things before she left. The book could wait a bit longer. She couldn’t.
The Raw Truth About Missions
Looking back, one thing stands out: missions aren’t just about you. They ripple out, touching the people closest to you in ways you might not even realize.
As I wrote in a letter to Delaney:
“Pursuing a big goal, even when it’s worthwhile, can have ripple effects on the people we love the most. Whether it’s the time I sacrificed away from your mom and you, or missing out on moments in your last year living under our roof, it wasn’t without cost.”
That’s the truth no one likes to talk about. When you’re all in, you’re not the only one paying the price.
So how do you reconcile that? How do you make sure the people running the race with you are okay with the price of admission?
Here’s what this journey taught me—messy, raw, and unfiltered:
- Count the Cost Honestly: It’s not enough to just weigh what a goal will cost you. Ask yourself how it will affect the people you love. Have the hard conversations. Be real about what’s at stake.
- Pivot Without Shame: Adjusting your path doesn’t mean you’re weak or unfocused. It means you’re human. The mission might be non-negotiable, but how you get there should be flexible.
- Let the Mission Change You: The process will shape you in ways you can’t predict. Let it. Be open to the lessons, even when they’re hard to swallow.
- Relentless Means Sacrificial: True relentlessness isn’t stubbornness. It’s being willing to give up what’s comfortable, what’s easy, or even what you thought was the plan to honor what matters most.
A New Finish Line
Writing this book was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it taught me something I’ll carry forever: the finish line isn’t just about crossing it. It’s about the people who helped you get there, the moments you chose to be present, and the sacrifices you were willing to make to keep your mission aligned with your values.
To anyone out there chasing a dream, know this: the cost is real. But so is the reward—if you’re willing to do it the right way. Count the cost, yes. But don’t forget to count the moments too.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about what you finish. It’s about who you become—and who you bring with you—along the way.