Bucket vs. Chuck-It List: Stop Chasing Someone Else’s Goals
Let’s get real—how many of the goals you’re chasing actually belong to you? Are they deeply personal, or are they borrowed from someone else’s dreams, expectations, or highlight reels? It’s easy to get swept up in the noise of what looks good on the surface, but chasing goals that aren’t yours will leave you empty every time. You’ll be busy, but you won’t feel fulfilled.
I know this because I lived it.
Growing up, I had a habit of absorbing other people’s dreams. As a kid, I got into trouble—a lot. So much so that my dad started taking me to work with him to keep me in check. To make those long days shorter, I developed a knack for asking the adults around me about their lives. I’d hear about their dreams—what they wanted to do, where they wanted to go, how they wished their lives had turned out. And instead of using that insight to figure out what I wanted, I just adopted their dreams as my own.
It’s a bit like The Italian Job. There’s a scene where everyone shares their plans for what they’ll do after their big heist—how they’ll use the money to make their dreams a reality. But one guy, the one who ends up betraying them, doesn’t share any plans of his own. Instead, he takes what they wanted and makes it his, right down to the details. That was me. I wasn’t charting my own course—I was building a life based on someone else’s blueprint.
And it left me exhausted and unfulfilled. I was working hard, but I wasn’t doing what mattered to me. I was living a life of borrowed dreams and misplaced priorities, and it took me years to realize why I felt so disconnected.
Signs You’re Living Someone Else’s Life
Living someone else’s life doesn’t just rob you of joy—it also tricks your brain into thinking you’re achieving something. Research shows that consuming other people’s stories, especially on social media, releases dopamine—the same chemical your brain rewards you with when you accomplish something yourself. But the problem is, it’s hollow. You’re not really achieving anything. Over time, this cycle creates a dangerous gap between the life you want and the life you’re actually living.
Here are some clear signs you might be stuck in this trap:
- You dread your days. It’s not just a bad job or tough circumstances—it’s that nagging sense that what you’re doing doesn’t align with who you are.
- You’re always consuming, never creating. You scroll, watch, and collect ideas, but you rarely act on them. It’s as if watching someone else live their life has become a substitute for living your own.
- Your bucket list feels like a fantasy. It’s full of things you like the idea of but have no real intention of pursuing.
- You’re overwhelmed by clutter. Mentally or physically, you’re weighed down by “shoulds” and “maybes,” with no clear sense of what actually drives you.
The Chuck-It List: Let Go to Focus on What Matters
This is where the Chuck-It List comes in. It’s not about giving up on your dreams—it’s about letting go of the things that don’t serve you so you can focus on the ones that do.
For me, this meant taking a hard look at what I was holding onto and asking, “Is this really mine?” If the answer was no, I let it go. It wasn’t easy, but it was freeing. Once I cleared the clutter, I could finally see what mattered most—my family, my purpose, and the life I wanted to create.
Too much mental or emotional baggage will always get in the way of clarity. It distracts you from what’s right in front of you and makes it impossible to focus on what truly matters.
Why It’s Time to Chuck the Noise
When you carry too much, you lose sight of the adventure ahead. And let’s face it—most of us are carrying a lot more than we need. We cling to ideas, goals, and habits that don’t bring us joy or move us forward. But when you let go of what doesn’t matter, something incredible happens: clarity. You stop chasing what looks good on paper and start focusing on what feels good in your soul.
Challenge Yourself to Let Go
Here’s my challenge to you: Write two lists. One is your bucket list—the goals, dreams, and experiences you think you want. The other is your Chuck-It List—everything you need to let go of to make space for the things that actually matter. Be brutally honest. If it doesn’t align with your values or light you up, chuck it.
This isn’t about giving up—it’s about creating space. Space for the goals, relationships, and experiences that bring meaning to your life. Space to stop chasing someone else’s version of success and start building your own.
Because here’s the truth: The life you’re meant to live isn’t someone else’s highlight reel. It’s yours. And it starts when you’re brave enough to let go of what doesn’t matter and hold tight to what does.